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Even just heading out for a last-minute backpacking trip together, or a post-work mountain bike ride. In between were stints of being single in which I traveled solo or with friends, and stop-and-start dating episodes not worth making long-term adventure plans for.
But I recently stumbled into a healthy relationship. I work for myself so I can operate remotely at trailhe or from the road. Those relationships are stronger for their shared experiences, built on the magic formula of wonder, adrenaline highs, connection to nature, and the inevitable troubleshooting and hardships which, admittedly, can just as easily break a relationship that defines adventure. I admit I often catch myself thinking: I wish I had a partner like that—my own built-in travel buddy to share the experience, help with planning, inspire further journeys—basically, meet the need for companionship in this huge priority of exploring.
I backpacked in Patagonia with my best friend. So at heart, the question is: Should my partner Looking for an adverturous outgoing woman need to be my adventure buddy, when he meets literally every one of my other needs? Love is a thousand ordinary weeknights, the sum of which make you happier that you ever thought possible. The real thing is right in front of me, and the deal-breaker would be my failure to see it—adventurer or not.
Looking for an adverturous outgoing woman wife of 30 awesome years will not go on every gonzo adventure I go on. When making plans for her to come with for more than 2 nights, I have to supply a comfort factor that I normally would never consider. But… she has an adventurous spirit! Cynthia is interested in people, places and almost everything around her. She is always reading something new, learning something new. I have found I can have a partner who is not interested in going on every one of my adventures.
But I could never be with someone who is not amazed by the world around them and adventurous in spirit. I struggled for a long time with the fact that he does not have the same desire as I do to spend the weekend hiking or plotting a cross country trip to visit a natl park.
Nonetheless he is a great partner and we still find plenty of adventures we do like to share together i. I think it depends on how supportive you are of each other. A long time ago I was married for ten unhappy years to someone who suddenly lost any interest she had in skiing, hiking, or camping. There were the guilt trips when I left, There were the complaints when I had underestimated how long I would gone and when I would be home. So I stayed home stir crazy, miserable, and probably not a very good partner. Hopefully your partner understands that leaving for adventure defines who you are and trying to constrain that impulse will make both of you miserable.
I knew the union showed promise when she bought me the first gift from herself. My partner and I have been together for more than 30 years. She is not into outdoors or long cycling ride like me. From time I have been a bit sad for her because she can not experience some great landscapes I can see.
But I understand as well that somebody does not want to endure the stupidity of the pain in endurance sports. I think as well it is good to have things that each one can do on his side and leave the other some personal time. On the other hand I would not get on at all with somebody stopping me to do what I like and vice versa. Harsh as this may sound, find someone else. So insightful.
Now my outdoor wife of several years and I share a lot more of life, every day having the same priorities. If being outdoors is a priority in your life and working is a priority in his it will be a lonely life for both of you. This may have helped me ificantly in the conundrum I find myself in.
Outdoor adventure is so much a fundamental part of who I am and now I define myself and to some extent, my life, that it feels wrong to be with someone who do not want to share the thing that is fundamental to who I am. For me, someone who shares my adventure is critical to them being the right person for me.
For me the answer lies behind the question of how much are you willing to compromise, and how is that compromise going to affect you long term. Cleaning the house in anticipation of guests, or going shopping on a sunny day, are not bad per se. But ask yourself how you will feel in 20 years when you realize that your youth is long gone and each day in the mountains is a gift…. I know what you mean! I am definitely more adventurous than my partner, but i feel I have passed the disease to her. After being so long time together i think some characteristics and habits are contagious — in this case the adventure spirit.
This is not a minor difference. This is a difference on how to live your life and is right up there with how to manage money and whether to have. You will still need to get out there and do your adventures.
Hopefully, you will enjoy them without guilt. Interests and abilities change over a lifetime. I look for core values: integrity, kindness, respect and generosity. I like that I have a piece of myself that is all mine. And I like the feeling of not taking his presence for granted from time to time. When you first fall in love and the love hormone oxytocin is running at high levels, you think you will be able to overlook a lot of things in a new partner.
Sometimes that will happen, if you are lucky. This new charcoal is all the things you have in common, including recreational activities. Sometimes, if both of you start doing your own thing on your leisure time, you will start growing apart, and after a while, chances are that one or both of you will find someone else to do those activies, and, if that happens, that may be the beginning of the end, because people tend to bond when they are having fun together.
Is there any chance you can impart some of your outdoor adventure-ness onto my spouse? Oh my goodness my problem is so much the opposite! I think some experiences are more enjoyable alone, or with this or that girlfriend, or with my goofy uncles. Some things definitely Looking for an adverturous outgoing woman better with my husband, but not everything. That can start to look very different as a relationship gets more serious. Is he happy for you when you take off on adventures with friends?
Does he help you pack and ask you questions when you get back, or is he mopey and incurious and passively makes you feel bad about leaving him? Does he have his own friends that he can explore his own interests with or is he totally relying on you for entertainment? Some compromise is, of course, key to successful relationships. I think people could write the same piece around anything. Do you have to be the same age? Same philosophical leanings? Will it work? I look to my mom and her husband, who married in their 60s.
They share a lot of critical passions. They push each other to do what they want, better themselves, explore their interests. Yes, you can be happy dating a non-adventurous working man, but for how long?
I have a genetic nervous disposition, which was further compounded by a biological father who beat Looking for an adverturous outgoing woman screamed and threw nasty surprises at me for sport, and being left alone in the world at age 17 with no money and no hope. As a result, I have constant high adrenaline anxiety which exhausts me and damages my heart. I often see people who are unaware of their own privilege sneering at those whose coping mechanism for being a dust mote in this vast universe is leading a quiet life, instead of a loud one.
Everyone is different, some people climb mountains to feel, some people go birdwatching. Some people trek across deserts to avoid feeling, some people watch the rain on the windowpane cuddled up with their cat. Some people kayak down a wild river or surf a gigantic wave to escape the doldrums and drudgery of everyday life, some people read for escapism and knit or sew or paint or write or bake to focus their mind. In many ways, an actively adventurous spirit is a privilege, and it is in essence no more of a virtue than a homebody spirit is.
It takes all sorts to make a world. Are you still happy with him? Gotta make money to pay for food and a place to live, right? Or what do you adventurers on here do? Are you not working at all, or do you have other sources of income? Depends on what you do for a living. If you work mostly on a computer, you can use a wifi hotspot to make pretty much anywhere your office.
Notify me of followup comments via. You can also subscribe without commenting. DanO on July 11, at am. Cassidy Randall on July 12, at am. I love this. What a beautiful point. Kim Grimm on July 11, at am. Lance on July 11, at pm. Ben on July 11, at pm. Relationships with people are about compromise. Being in the wilderness is all about you.
Just saying. Den on July 12, at am. On the other hand I would not get on at all with somebody stopping me to do what I like and vice versa Reply. JoAnne on July 12, at am. Dan on July 12, at am. Maxime Jacovella on June 25, at am.Looking for an adverturous outgoing woman
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Can You Be Happy Dating Someone Who Isn’t Adventurous?