Added: Dawanna Trombly - Date: 18.11.2021 21:52 - Views: 15000 - Clicks: 7228
Through the individual stories and experiences shared in Real Relationships, we aim to paint a more realistic picture of love in the world today. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and are not necessarily based on research conducted by The Gottman Institute. It sounds hokey and kind of weird, due to this all happening on a dating appbut the moment I laid eyes on her Bumble profile, I knew I would never want anyone else again.
When we started chatting, it was obvious there was instant chemistry—we were both sober, she had visited Vancouver, where I live, the year. Despite this soul-crushing defeat, I was determined to enjoy the rest of my time in Philadelphia.
I treated myself to a delicious dinner and mocktails, went back to the hotel, woke up the next morning, and headed to the airport. And I kept messaging Kate.
We chatted all day long, as I caught two flights back to Vancouver. We talked about everything—our sordid pasts, why and how we sobered up, our families, our dating histories—no topic was too weird or too off-limits.
I remember laughing a lot, seeing how proud she was of herself every time she made me laugh, and how that elicited a weird reaction in me where it felt like my heart was going to fly out of my body. I remember that towards the end of it, all I could do was gawk at her like she was the greatest thing I had ever seen in my life. How does this person exist, and why do they only exist on the opposite side of the continent, in a different country? The FaceTime dates and text message infatuation continued while I went on a family vacation to China for two weeks.
It was exactly like a scene from a Hollywood romance—if the Hollywood romance starred two weird, awkward, sober people with warped senses of humor and nerves for days. For some people, to sober up is just to stop drinking. For both of us, substance abuse was a symptom, not a cause. We both have very similar stories around why we drank, our drinking patterns, and a litany of truly awful things that happened to both of us when we drank that allows us to relate better to each other.
Being able to be our messy, authentic selves and know that each other is coming from a place of understanding and support is incredibly liberating. Kate says this is her first meaningful relationship, her first time feeling like an equal, her first time to be her authentic self without having to appease expectations.
More than any other situation in my life, this relationship has forced me to develop my communication skills. This is probably the biggest challenge for me and something I have to be conscious of every single day. For the first five weeks we knew each other, all we could do was talk—and we talked a lot. As a result, we had a solid foundation of emotional intimacy and mutual trust before ever even getting the opportunity to become physically intimate.
Our sobriety plays a role here, as well. Through the stories and experiences shared in Real Relationships, we aim to understand and paint a more realistic, inclusive picture of relationships in the world today.
Search for:. The telephone game More than any other situation in my life, this relationship has forced me to develop my communication skills. Subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox. Enter Confirm.
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